- me: that's not quite hot enough let me just turn it up to boiling lava.
- me: yes good i shall bathe in the waters of mordor.
- me: why do we have like 25 different kinds of shampoo?
- me: i'ma read the back of this.
- me: lather, rinse, repeat?
- me: why do i have to repeat is your product so shitty it didn't work the first time?
- me: hold the fuck up i have to write fanfic in my head real quick.
- me: if water is a renewable resource does that mean every celebrity i've ever loved has showered in this same water before?
- me: eheheheheheheheheheh.
- me: but you didn't have to cUT ME OFF.
- me: did i already wash my hair?
- me: i think i did but i don't remember.
- me: i'ma do it again.
- me: FUCK I REPEATED.
- me: well played, pantene pro-v. WELL PLAYED
- me: i wonder what it's like to have sex in the shower.
- me: i bet it's awkward.
- me: i bet a lot of injuries happen that way.
- me: okay time to get out.
- me: where the fuck is my towel.
if i had a dollar for every time an adult asked me about college then i’d have enough money to pay for college
I wonder what President Lincoln would think about there being a movie about him killing vampires.
“whats a movie”
When people ask how you’re doing at the end of the semester
*breaks into j k rowling’s house in the middle of the night* no it’s okay i’m not here to steal anything i just think we need to talk about harry naming one of his kids after snape